JOHN THIEL EXPOSED

A quote from Adventist pioneer Ellen White

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"The effort to earn salvation by one's own works inevitably leads men to pile up human exactions as a barrier against sin. For, seeing that they fail to keep the law, they will devise rules and regulations of their own to force themselves to obey. All this turns the mind away from God to self. His love dies out of the heart, and with it perishes love for his fellow men. A system of human invention, with its multitudinous exactions, will lead its advocates to judge all who come short of the prescribed human standard. The atmosphere of selfish and narrow criticism stifles the noble and generous emotions, and causes men to become self-centered judges and petty spies." Ellen White {MB 123.1}

 

 

THE RULES

 

Concerning Food

 

(1) The consumption of Chilli is forbidden because it excites the animal passions. However the consumption of Cayenne is permitted because John Thiel decrees that it is not a chilli, which of course it is.

 

(2) Drinking of liquids with meals is not permitted.

 

(3) Only approved bread may be consumed.

 

(4) All dairy is forbidden.

 

(5)  Chocolate, coffee, tea, lollies and cakes are forbidden.

 

Concerning Dress

 

(6) long sleeves buttoned at the cuffs are compulsory.

 

(7) long bloomers or pants must be worn under the dress at all times.

 

(8) shorts are not permitted.

 

(9) It is forbidden to expose any part of the feet or ankles.

 

(10) High neck lines are compulsory.

 

(11) Skirts and dresses to cover the ankle.

 

(12) Man made fibres are forbidden

 

(13) Mixed fibres are forbidden

 

(14)  No bright colours or patterns are permitted.

 

(15) womens clothes must be baggy so as to not show form.

 

Concerning Hair

 

(16) Mens hair is to be short.

 

(17) Womens hair is to be long

 

(18) Dieing of Hair is forbidden

 

(19) Fringes are forbidden

 

(20) High pony tails are forbidden

 

(21) Ornate hair combs, bands or scrunchies are forbidden.

 

Concerning personal grooming

 

(22) Women forbidden to shave legs or under arms, pluck eye brows or remove any other hair from their bodies.

 

(23) No lightening or removal of female facial hair is permitted.

 

(24) Make up, nail polish and jewelry are forbidden.

 

Concerning interpersonal relationships

 

(25) Only John Thiel is permitted to be alone with women.

 

(26) Fiancés forbidden to hold hands.

 

(27) Married couples forbidden to express any outward show of affection.

 

(28) It is forbidden to touch children unless you are the parent.

 

(29) It is forbidden for Grand parents to hold Grand children.

 

(30) It is forbidden to hug anyone.

 

(31) Jesting is forbidden.

 

(32) Women are not permitted to swim together because it makes them become Lesbian.

 

(33) Devotees encouraged to keep their addresses secret but must tell John Thiel where they live.

 

(34) Arguments between brethren must be brought before John rather than resolved by the parties involved.

 

(35) Church social activities take supremacy over family activities, business activities or any other activity.

 

(36) abandonment of non approved friends relations, children and spouses is required.

 

(37) No baby talk to babies permitted.

 

(38) No praising of a child's achievements permitted.

 

(39) No birthday cards, presents, cake or acknowledgements permitted.

 

(40) No handshakes longer than two seconds permitted between men and women.

 

(41) No non church social activities permitted between brethren.

 

(42) No close friendships permitted between brethren.

 

Concerning The Church

 

(42) All members must attend all business meetings.

 

(43) Church family takes precedence over natural family.

 

(44) Members must submit to Johns authority and counsel.

 

 Concerning sexuality

 

(45) Male masturbation is not permitted. It causes homosexuality.

 

Concerning Music

 

(46) Only Hymns are permitted for listening pleasure.

 

(47) Only Hymns that are approved by John Thiel are permitted. Banned hymns may not be sung or listened to.

 

(48) Playing a musical instrument in a non-approved fashion is not permitted.

 

(49) Playing a non approved instrument is not permitted.

 

(50) Strumming of a guitar is not permitted.

 

(51) Picking a guitar in a non approved way is not permitted.

 

(52) Musical adornments such as walking bass lines are not permitted.

 

(53) lead Guitar is not permitted.

 

(54) Drums or other percussion is not permitted,

 

(55) Musical genres, flavours, accents or styles are forbidden.

 

(56) Vibrato is forbidden

 

(57) Anything that John Thiel doesn't like is forbidden.

 

(58) Up beat tempo is forbidden.

 

(60) slight swaying of the body whilst playing or singing is forbidden.

 

 

Concerning banned worldly activities

 

(61) Television, Cinema, DVD's and online viewing mediums are banned

 

(62) Novels, Newspapers and Magazines are banned.

 

(63) Only John Thiel is consecrated to follow world events, it is banned to follow news and current affairs.

 

(64) Family photographs are worldly and vain, they are not permitted.

 

(65) Going to the beach is not permitted.

 

Concerning the Sabbath

 

(66) Members must attend church from before Sabbath school (9 am) until    after sunset.

 

(67) It is forbidden to wash, bathe, shower or shave on the Sabbath.

 

(68) When walking in a group it is forbidden to pair off.

 

(69) Men must wear a suit and tie.

 

(70) It is forbidden to talk about secular matters. ie 'hows your new job' etc.

 

(71) A dish must be brought by each member, if you don't bring you don't eat.

 

(72) Sermons must be longer than an hour.

 

(73) Prayers must be long verbose and tedious

 

(74) The tempo of all Hymns must be reduced to a Dirge

 

(75) The children must kneel before an image of Sister White during sabbath school.

 

(76) Children are only permitted to sing Hymns during sabbath school, no spiritual ditties like 'God said to Noah' are permitted.

 

(77) No visiting of sick relatives or friends is permitted on Sabbath.

 

(78) Artificial flowers are verboten.

 

(79) Flowers are not permitted to be placed before the Bible.

 

(80) Sabbath clothes must be worn all day, no changing allowed.

 

(90) Illustrated childrens Bible story books must have naked limbs coloured in with felt tip pens before the children can view them

 

(91) Children are not permitted to see Jesus on the cross because he has bare limbs.

 

(92) Children are not permitted to draw hearts as this is a pagan symbol.

 

(93) Children must not be rewarded for good performance.

 

(94) No stickers, cards or secular colouring in books are permitted.

 

(95) It is forbidden to say that you are 'Good' when asked "how are you", the sanctioned response is "I am well".

 

(96) It is forbidden to say "Happy Sabbath", the sanctioned salutation is "Blessed Sabbath".

 

(97) Kneeling during prayer is compulsory.

 

Concerning Finances

 

(98) It is not permitted to spend money on wasteful things like ornaments.

 

(99) It is not permitted to go on holidays, except the compulsory Easter and Christmas church camps.

 

Concerning the Law

 

(100)  John Thiel's word is final

 

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